Seth's Guide to Love
by Livette
Summary: Bella and Edward have some competition for most unlikley couple when Seth imprints on Jane. To all fans/haters this account isn't the same person...this story is therefore DISCONTINUED. sorry!
1. Rule1: Love has no rules

**AN: Can't remember if the packs are all telepathically linked again by the whole Volturi confrontation thing in Breaking Dawn so for this lets say they are. It's not a very realistic story but I enjoyed writing it. Please R&R (constructive criticism welcome.) I don't own any characters or anything like that (wish I did though, who doesn't, it's Twilight.) Thanks for reading. **

**Love: (**_**Verb)**____Have great affection for; feel sexual passion for; enjoy (something) very much __**(Noun) **__Great affection; sexual passion; wholehearted liking for something; beloved person; tennis, squash e.t.c score of nothing._

**Imprint: **_** (Noun) **__Mark made by printing or stamping; publishers name and address on a book __**(Verb) **__Produce (a mark) by printing or stamping._

_I spy with my little eye something beginning with…err….B_

_Baby_ someone suggested; we all looked at Renesme.

_No._

_Battlefield_ guessed Embry.

_No._

_Blonde_ Jake looked at Rosalie for a moment too long and she glared at him.

Several minds laughed.

_Boredom_ offered Leah.

Ha!

_Can we pay a bit more attention please?_

_Sorry Sam_ a selection of thoughts chorused.

_We're just bored_ One of the young ones (that felt good to think) mentally moaned. _When are they going to stop talking and start…I dunno…anything?_

_Hey it's all kicking of now._ Leah sounded sarcastic but bared her teeth nonetheless as Jacob took Renesme forward for inspection.

I'd never been good at waiting. However I'd just discovered I was very good at telepathic I – Spy, or maybe the rest of the pack was just bad at it; was Bella really that difficult to spot?

_Bella_

_We've stopped playing Jarred; doesn't count._

_Does so._

_Does not._

_Does so._

_Does not._

_Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

_Sorry Sam._

_Does So._

I shrugged of Jarred childish jabbering…

_Oi!_

......... He really reminded me of a fly buzzing around, or a really annoying itch or….

_Hey!_

Anyway I tried to block him out as and scanned the enemy lines. And.

It was like a bullet train. An electric shock. The burn on your tongue when you drink hot chocolate too soon. It was like something was beating me up from the inside out. Wham! Kapow! Bam! There goes my universe. I was wired up to something. One of those hospital things where those boxes get clapped to your chest and they shock you until you breathe again. I'd been invisible; she was the only one that could see me. All I could think about was how to make her think of me, and everything that we could be.

_Whoa! No way. No way._

_Maybe it's just a crush; a really crazy, sick crush._

_No it's an imprint. _The thought echoed around; Quil, Jacob, Sam, Paul, Jarred.

_But how's that work? We're supposed to imprint on the girls who'll …y'know…carry on the line best._

_Whoa! Mate, this isn't happening._

I was dimly aware of them picking over me; gut me like a fish why don't you?

The thought was like a candle held in front of the sun.

_Eurgh! Please don't go all mushy on us._

_Embry, this is serious. Seth's in trouble._

_I don't get it though; she's a freakin bloodsucker for Christ's sake._

_Shut Up! I won't hear a word against her. Got it?_

Someone was growling menacingly…oh. Wait. It was me. I hadn't realised. Well good; how dare they say that about her?

Frankly I was surprised they weren't tripping over each other in an effort to be where she was. I know I was dying to be somewhere- anywhere- where she'd ever been. I wanted her here. Her eyes looking into mine. So lost I thought I'd never get home. Her beautiful eyes.

Her beautiful scarlet eyes.

_Which one is she; what's her name?_

I for one didn't care if it was Richard. I didn't care if her eyes were pink with yellow polka dots. I didn't care if she was the centre pillar of the entire Volturi.

_I think it must be Jane._

Jane? It was delicious. It sounded like a jam jar opening.

_Great._ A dozen or so thoughts sighed and grumbled.

Yeah. Great.

**Later….**

_List 7 things you hate about her_

_Imagine her on the toilet_

_Dude. You need a hobby._

_I'll start you off…erm….she sadistic; she's waaay too short for you._

_She seemed pretty possessive. Y'know with Aro and him getting Bella a present_

_Not to mention awfully fond of her brother._

_What do you think they're...?_

_Incest!_

"Grrrrrrrr"

_Sorry mate. Not helping_

We were walking away from the battlefield (although there was never actually any battle) and the pack were "helping" me get over Jane (I felt like such a stupid girl).

_Oi! Watch it!_

_Sorry Leah._

It took an Alpha command to stop me running to her- sweeping her feet off the ground and spinning her around in my arms- when she turned away.

Instead I watched her go, with the rest of them.

I treasured every memory; hugging it too me, her hair, her eyes, the way the sky was her own kind of blue, the way her face was like a plate; flashing at times dull at others.

I already knew. There was no getting over Jane. I'd never stop feeling this….much. And I'd never feel the same way about anyone else, ever. Anything I felt would seem dull, like a crow compared to a swan (I'd heard that somewhere before?) by comparison to….this.

So low I couldn't feel anything at all.

Nothing but Jane. Forever and always.

The craziest thing was I could list 7 things I hated about her. I could easily. And the thing I hated the most; she made me love her.

She made me like it when she snarled at Bella. My heart raced and swelled when she tried to spitfire pain at us. She was insane, I acted insane. Even now all I wanted to do was scream her praises to the heavens:

Gimmie a J! Gimmie an A! Gimmie an N! Gimmie an…..

_Seth._

_Yes?_

_What. The. Hell._

_**AN**_**: Hope you're enjoying it so far. **


	2. Rule 2: It's quicker to fly

**AN: Thanks for reading this far and for reviewing; I know it's pretty random stuff. Again, I don't own any characters or anything. **

Of three things I was absolutely certain. One: Jane was a crazy, bloodsucking psycho. Two: I was absolutely and unstoppably determined to be with her. And three: nothing was stopping me seeing her again.

That night, after the almost fight, – when I'd closed my eyes to sleep- I saw her face against the sky.

15 minutes later I'd climbed out of my window, phased, and headed for the coast.

Very lovesick. Very stupid.

I'd never been this way before. But I'd heard enough albums and listened to the radio; typical love began: attraction, euphoria, doubt (also know as hang on a minute.)

The truth: How did I expect to swim to Italy? Besides, it was probably quicker to fly than run anyway (wolf or no wolf).

But running stopped me thinking- the pesky questions whisked away by the wind whistling in my ears- I was free. And every time I caught my breath…..guess who I could almost believe was there. I ran for hours, maybe even days, making one quick stop at a café to down two coffees in as many gulps. I bought a bunch of roses too but they were way awkward to carry so I chucked them away. Maybe I should have kept them:

"Ah flowers, how sweet of you my dear one" Aro would say.

"Actually ...err… they're for Jane."

"Gasp"

"Gasp"

"Le gasp."

No; 'le gasp' was French. They were Italian.

Actually, the whole flower thing might have worked quite well. Or. One of the hulking bodyguards might have found me; I doubted the smell of roses, mingling with that of a werewolf, made a desirable combination if I wanted my head attached to my body.

Best to stick to the original plan

Escape. Get to Italy. Tell the Volturi I'd suddenly had the urge to accept Aro's "guard dog" proposition. Somehow, Get Jane to want to be with me a fraction of how much I wanted to be with her.

Yeah. Great plan Seth. Into the fray.

Bad plan. How on earth was I going to get to Italy?

Random thought, it would probably make quite a good reality T.V show. Can the pining werewolf get to Italy and gain the vampire of his dreams with nothing but a pair of jeans and the $8.50 (now $2.60) in one of the pockets?

Answer: no.

"_Don't give up Seth" _Jane's voice flooded through my head, I could hear dark, wooden tables in it and hot, Italian air. Again, the truth: I'd never actually heard it.

Still, I decided it was a vision sent from god and it filled me with a new determination.

I had goosebumps. The hairs on my arms did the Mexican wave.

New plan.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Here we are. The waiting room.

I ran my hands through my hair and then began tapping a rhythm on my knees.

It was the usual sort: a shoal of weathered looking children's toys in one corner, pictures of horses in a field and kittens in a basket on the wall, people waiting.

I thanked god that I'd been able to find a big city and phase back pretty soon after thinking up, the 'New Plan' (especially as I realised I'd managed to get completely lost), I thanked him again for helping me scrape my way into the departure lounge of a flight to Italy; it had involved stealing a little kids ice cream (which I feel very bad for), a crazy duck, and a ride in one of those wheel along bins cleaners use.

Of course (please help me god) there was still the small matter of getting on a flight to Italy without a ticket….or a passport…..

This was where the New Plan really went into action. It started with some people watching.

A woman with sunglasses pushed back on her head wearing a pinstriped blouse and pencil skirt. A couple making out (honeymoon?). A man in an orange t-shirt with dreadlocks and a bongo drum. A young family frantically searching for 'Ted'- I couldn't quite work out if it was a cuddly toy or some old, doddery relative.

Speaking of old. A man (about 75ish), big red bag of golf clubs, faded grey trilby. Sitting, smiling at nothing in particular, beside an empty seat.

I got up.

Here goes nothing.

This is a really bad idea.

Maybe I can call Jane. Volturi'll be in the phonebook somewhere.

If this goes wrong… I 'm mincemeat.

Walk Seth. Keep walking.

Gulp.

"Erm. Hi. Can I sit here?"

The room was a lot smaller than it looked.

The man looked up, blinking, his eyes were the colour of thick fog.

"Of course. Don't hesitate. Sit."

"Nice golf clubs"

"Yes. Golf; good for the soul. The plan is, play golf in every country before I die. Also, swim with sharks."

He paused for a long time at the end of every sentence. And he only said the bare minimum amount of words, like his voice was rusty, or maybe he just couldn't be bothered. When he came to the end he set up a wheezy chuckle; like a car starting.

I supposed he must be laughing at my expression; a mixture of astonishment and dismay at the thought of him swimming with sharks.

"Joke. I'm Bertie"

"Hi I'm Seth"

We shook hands and his felt like the bark of a tree.

Bertie frowned.

"Warm hands. Cold heart?"

I laughed nervously, although I'd never heard that one before.

Bertie didn't pursue it but continued to frown.

"So Seth. What pulls you to Italy?"

Pull was an appropriate word; dragged, drawn, tugged. Yes, she was pulling me. My chest hurt.

Bertie's frown deepened.

It was sort of what death might be like; it carries you away from, everything, everyone, even yourself gets left behind. But when the time comes, when it calls for you. You can't help but follow. Eurgh. Morbid thought Seth.

I looked at Bertie; maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell him, a little bit anyway. He seemed like he might be one of those wise 'all-knowing' old men.

"Well there's this girl and…"

"Ah. A good tip: always look at the mother; a girl will often end up looking like her mother. For better or worse."

Well, Jane's mother was probably in some graveyard; a mouldy, rotting skeleton.

She never aged anyway.

"Another." Continued Bertie "Always keep your feet, keep your ideas and focus, or there's no knowing where you'll end up."

Boop, Boop. "The 4:30 pm flight to Rome, Italy will be leaving in 15 minutes, that's 15 minutes till the 4:30pm flight to Rome, Italy. Would passengers please make their way to the aircraft" The voice crackling over the speakers was chiming and pepperminty.

"Err look Bertie. I'm going to go into the toilets, in a few seconds a…big dog will come out of them. I really, really need you to get it on that plane. Y'know in one of those box things with the cage on the front. I'll pay you back. Someday. If it costs anything. But I really, really need it to be on that plane. Tell them it…erm…saved your nieces life and your going to visit her or something. Just….please."

Bertie looked at me.

"Seth. I'm not saying you sound like a madman. But one of us sounds like a madman and it's not me!" he paused "Still, Why not."

I legged it into the toilets. Pulled off my jeans and t-shirt- I'd bought it off a random market stall so I looked less conspicuous ($2:50- fate is in my favour) - and phased.

I re-entered the departure lounge on all fours, it felt as weird as if I'd been human and had crawled in on my hands and knees.

I got a few odd looks. Understatement; the male honeymooner looked the far side of gobsmacked, the pencil skirt woman's eyes went wide and bulging like a fly's as she backed away, tripping over male honeymooner's foot. The female honeymooner seemed more bothered by how romantically he managed to catch pencil skirt and place her back on her feet, grinning as he reset the sunglasses in her dark hair. She glared at him, reminding me of Rosalie.

Luckily however most of the passengers had already set off; across the tarmac to the plane.

Bertie jolted in his seat and his eyebrows shot up under his trilby, he began blinking rapidly like he thought he was dreaming.

"Don't look like any dog I've ever seen. And why are Seth's clothes tied to its leg?"

He muttered; mumbling to himself and his eyes began to drift around, not focusing on anything. "Come on boy." He commanded nervously.

"Err. Excuse me, we don't allow dogs on the plane."

The woman had one of those fixed, cheesy smiles; she was wearing blue, with a red ribbon around her neck.

Bertie cleared his throat.

"Ah but you see this is not just a dog. This is …erm…Tristan Tuesday soon to be starring in blockbusting Disney film…err…Tristan Tuesday the Super dog alongside Zac Efron, Cameron Diaz and Colin Firth. As you can see it's a dog like no other, an extremely rare breed but you know what these directors are like; Tristan must be perfect. I've been scouring the length and breadth of America looking for this guy. I need to get him to Italy to start filming or Zac won't have time to shoot all his scenes before moving on to his next big movie….err…Restrooms This Way."

I wondered if she'd notice that the title of Zac Efron's 'big movie' was the same as one of the signs on the wall behind her.

"It's very, very important. People have been working so hard to make this film, this dream, a reality. It's based on a story the writers Gran used to tell him when he was a boy, his Gran passed away last month. The director's going through a divorce with her husband of 25 years after he had an affair with another man but has come in every day anyway. Erm….the tea-lady was in a go-kart accident but has managed to push the trolley around with two broken arms. This is the project of our lifetimes it's going to be the most humungous success, it's all our dreams come true. It's a musical you see: Taylor Swift and Green Day have recorded tracks not to mention Madonna…"

Watch out Bertie; I'm tripping on all those names your dropping.

"And then there's Elvis…"

"Hang on I thought he was dead" The airport lady frowned.

"Yes…err…I was joking. But...erm… anyway it's just the most insanely good idea with such a passionate cast and crew. Zac's just too perfect for his role…it won't work without him. Without this dog on that plane. Personally I just want the grandkids to see it, to say 'my grandpa Bertie found that dog', so they'll always remember me as a hero…."

I swear I saw Bertie flutter his eyelashes.

I wondered how he knew all those people; he probably really did have grandkids.

It didn't matter anyway; there was no way in hell anyone was going to believe something so …..Unbelievable.

Besides people were so uptight these days. It probably didn't matter if I was the four legged president, dogs still wouldn't be allowed on airplanes.

I wasn't getting on the plane.

I wasn't getting to Italy.

My legs felt like jelly and the room began to spin and tilt.

I wasn't going to see Jane again.

Yes. Yes I was. If not this plane then another one; I'd rob a bank, or sing in the street for money, sleeping rough until I could afford the flight. Maybe I could steal a boat, sail to Italy. I suppose I could always _try _and swim there?

The airport lady had been squinting in thought and trying to decipher Bertie's facial expression (it was perfectly sincere.)

"Well" she bit her lip, I stopped breathing. "Follow me; we'll see what we can do."

* * * * * * * * *

**Later….**

Welcome to Italy Seth.

**AN: Yes, they wouldn't really ever let a dog on an airplane just like that but I've taken some creative licence. I know it's not the best chapter but he had to get to Italy somehow. Thanks for reading. =D. **


	3. Rule 3: Love is Fearless

**AN: Sorry if I've kept anyone waiting but here is chapter three.**

As soon as I felt the cage brush against firm ground I bolted; I crashed through the door and shot across the shiny white floor of the airport. Sending security guards scattering, I ran like I'd never ran before. Just as I reached the revolving door I turned and 'waved' at Bertie, I'll never forget the look on his face.

Then I found a suitable alleyway to phase back. Then I _acquired _a map of Italy. Then I hitchhiked to a peach farm that was about half way to Volterra. Then I stole a car. Yes, I actually stole a car. Thank god I know how to drive, sort of. If I were Jane I'd be very impressed.

Now, I'm stuck in traffic.

Thinking about it, that's not so bad because, now I've arrived in Volterra, I've no idea where I'm going. I guess I'll just drive around the honeycomb of streets keeping all my senses baited for 'vampire'. I don't know what I was expecting: signposts? A couple of cloaked figures doing their shopping? Well I, stupidly, didn't expect this: a perfectly unremarkable cobbled street, a café with silver plastic chairs and tables outside that glinted in the pale sunlight, a skinny cat lounging on a window ledge. A girl about my age was wiping the café tables and looking bored, three men were laughing around a doorstep listening to a radio (they reminded me of my dad and Billy and Charlie), a family was crossing between the cars, the little boy had just dropped his ice cream and his sister was laughing at him ( I sympathize).

Wham. The vampire leapt from a tiny alleyway, opened the door and crashed into the passenger seat in one blink.

It took me even less time to work out that he could squash my head to a pulp before I could say 'the incredible hulk'. I could tell his instinct was to lunge at me but that he was aware of the people buzzing around outside the glass. He put one iron hand on my shoulder.

I stared back at him feeling a fist in my throat and my heart pounding under my t-shirt. Again: what had I expected? They would have found out I was here eventually and it was only a matter of time before they sent the massive, lion/ tiger/ bear like welcoming committee.

His face was like thunder. I half expected steam to come out of his nose and ears. Still, it wasn't half as scary as Leah's 'I'm Going to Kill You' face, only I doubted she'd ever _actually_ kill me. And with this guy I wasn't so sure.

"What are you doing here mutt?" Unlike Bertie he spoke very quickly; all his words running together in one fluid spit. He looked at me like I was something disgusting on his shoe.

This got me thinking and I looked down at his feet. Leah used to say you could tell a lot about people from their shoes. I was surprised to see there were converse underneath the cloak, blue and very clean. For god's sake Seth; this is getting you nowhere!

"Erm…" I looked up at his face. "Well you know what Aro said in the clearing. Were you there?"

"Of course. We were all there. Get to the point." He gritted his teeth and gripped my shoulder tighter.

"Well obviously I'm a werewolf and Aro wanted some as guard dogs didn't he so….I've come."

"Liar." He laughed. I laughed because he was right.

"I'm not lying" I clenched my fists by my sides, hoping for 'mind over matter' and 'love conquers all'. "Take me to Aro, he'll prove it."

Of course he wouldn't; he'd know the truth but Aro seemed like the sort who loved or a fairytale, or loved a show at least. He'd probably just kill me but Jane might be with him and I was determined to see her at least once again before I died.

The big guard man, I'll call him…Err…Kylie frowned in concentration like I was a really tricky jigsaw. I waited.

"Get out" he growled slamming out of the car into the gloom of the alleyway. I clambered after him, there were a few angry beeps of horns and shouts of 'Oi, you! Don't you dare leave that car there!' (And worse) from the traffic snaking behind us but I decided they'd all live.

Soon the sounds and light of the street were swallowed by the grey of the alleyway. It was very narrow; someone could lean out of a window on one side and shake hands with someone who lived on the other. There were no signs of life apart from a pair of feet sticking out of a window about 3 storeys high, probably just painted their toenails, I thought, it was a good way to dry them, not that I've ever tried it, it was just something Leah used to do.

I wondered what Leah was doing right now. I'd had a generous head start (about half of a night and, she'd probably assume I was having a long lie in) but she'd be looking for me now, Jake would be helping her, maybe even Edward and the rest. I hoped that, when I got to the Volturi castle/ headquarters/ lair, I'd be safe (ha! well safe from my family and friends at least). The Cullens and the pack weren't stupid; they knew that if the Volturi 'had me' and found out that they were coming they'd squish me like a bug without a second thought. But I wasn't there yet….

A part of me still half expected ,and half wanted to be rescued. Edward would appear, out of nowhere, right in front of us and square up to Kylie. Leah and Jake would burst out of a doorway…. but a bigger part of me knew that was the last thing I wanted.

Kylie was muttering into a mobile; I would have tried to catch bits of what he was saying but decided I'd rather not know.

Suddenly we came to a dead end, a blank brick wall. I heard Kylie putting his phone away. Great; I'd been stupid enough to follow a vampire into an alleyway and now I was going to be killed and my remains would be found two weeks later half eaten by Alsatians. Perfect .This, is, it……

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I blinked. Kylie was standing beside an open hole in the street that looked a bit like a drain. I stared at him.

"Ha! I'm not stupid." He laughed, harshly. " You're going down first. I'm not letting you escape".

So this was the way in ….right, okay.

I went to look down into the drain type thing, it looked like a very deep, black pool and I could here a faint dripping of water off walls. I didn't need to throw a stone and wait for a tap to know it was a long way down. I might heal fast but there was just no way I was gonna….

"Errr look there's no way I'm jump-"

Whoosh. I barely had time to register the constricting arms around me and the cold air whistling in my ears before we hit the ground. Well, Kylie hit the ground and then pushed me away from him so roughly I almost fell over. My heart punched the inside of my chest as I struggled to breathe properly, it felt like I was under water.

Kylie began shoving me down what was some where between a corridor and a tunnel and I taught myself to breathe normally again. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. The grey light from the hole above faded to a pinprick ,and then nothing at all. It was very extremely dark, it was suffocating. I imagined that this was what it felt like to be a mole; blind, underground. Moles are blind right? Only a mole would feel much more at home.

I was scared but I also felt better than I ever had because I knew Jane was nearby. I could feel it in my stomach. Butterflies. Butterflies that had to get murdered if I didn't want the first thing I said to Jane to be something very, very stupid.

Before I knew it the black was turning to dark grey and I had no idea why. Kylie began to walk beside me and I had to jog to keep up with him.

We came to a grate made of thick bars that covered a heavy wooden door, Kylie casually flung it open and closed it behind me, I tried not to hear the thudding and clattering. Another door, another hallway, but a perfectly normal one this time; off white walls, grey carpet.

At the end of the hallway we got into a lift. Hmm a lift? I wondered if there was a way I could 'accidentally break it' for when me and Jane were alone together. Stuck in a lift with Jane (good title for a song?) anyway, we'd be trapped in this lift for hours (don't ask me how a lift managed to trap a vampire and a werewolf for any length of time) and we'd talk. And fall in love. Hey, it could happen. Seth and Jane. Jeth? Or Sane? Ha. More like in-sane.

Okay, even I could tell I was terrified now; I couldn't even think straight I was so freaked out. Scared of what was coming. Scared of being ripped apart by vampires. Scared Jane wouldn't want to know me.

And why would she? I was a werewolf, she was a vampire. It was pretty much as forbidden love as it gets.

Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe there is a god up there who's decided this is meant to be. Maybe we both need each other. Honestly I have no idea.

The lift deposited us in an airy looking reception with a few pastel coloured pillars and lots of paintings I had no time to look at. In the middle was a big silver coloured desk and sat behind it was a…whoa human. She was wearing a red shirt with a black jacket and skirt and high heels, her hair fell in thick waves past her shoulders. She looked like the sort who was usually very professional and classy about everything, very 'sex and the city career girl' as my mum would say (I have no idea), but right now her face had that tight look, like she had a lump in her throat.

"Felix. Please?"

Goodbye Kylie. Hello Felix.

"Not now Gianna." Felix jerked his head towards me.

"You know Bella nearly died, right? You know that it could kill me?" She fell into step beside us as Felix began half dragging me across the room. "Felix you have to-"

"Look Gianna." He turned sharply to face her, one hand on the back of my collar. "If Aro wants one of these hybrid things do you honestly think I can say no? Because I can't alright. I .Can't… I'm sorry G."

Gianna took her eyes off his and looked at her feet. Felix jerked away and began marching me towards another door. Gianna's voice echoed after us.

"But you'll talk to Aro right? Try and convince…Felix, Aro will want it to be his. You do know that don't you? Talk to him!"

It wasn't hard to figure out; Aro obviously wanted the Volturi to have their own Renesme and this Gianna was his unlucky guinea pig.

As the door closed I caught her eyes they looked full of ghosts, that's the only way to describe them. She looked haunted.

A little glimpse into Jane's world and I had to admit I more than disliked it.

We walked down yet another corridor with Felix looking like a mixture between a bomb and an upset child and me trying to stop shivering although it wasn't cold.

I ran a hand through my hair, that desperately needed brushing, trying to regain my cool. Hopeless of course. I stuck my hands in my pockets so no-one would see them shaking, counted to ten; I considered whistling but I didn't think Felix would be very happy about it.

Suddenly we were there, behind another thick door I could hear the babble of voices and I could smell it everywhere, vampire, vampire, vampire. I didn't know how many there were, I didn't know if one of them was the one I was looking for, but I knew they were vampires.

I'd never given much thought to how I would die but, being ripped apart by vampires, at least one of them wearing converse, whilst 'following my heart' on an insane quest, well…. that definitely hadn't been on the radar.

Felix opened the door.

Have you ever walked into a room full of people and realised they were just talking about you? What about a room full of vampires?

I was very conscious of the holes in the knees of my jeans as 15ish pairs of crimson eyes turned to look at me, weird, you'd think I'd me more worried about the fact I was going to die!  You could cut the tension in the room with a knife; a few eyes had already flickered back to Aro, waiting for the 'all clear' or 'bon appetit'.

None came. So far, so great.

I looked around the room although I didn't have to. Jane wasn't here. I recognised a few faces: Aro, obviously, and Caius and Marcus, sitting on three ornate thrones, Demertri, with the power everyone was so freaked about, and Alec, looking very Janeless.

The silence was a long one, I wondered whether I should bow or something, I wondered what time it was, I wondered what the Volturi would do if I threw up all over their floor, because I was worried I was going to find out soon enough.

"Well," Aro clapped his hands once as he stood up and began walking towards me at a human pace, feet tapping on the stone floor. "Felix tells me you've come because you're interested in being our guard-dog, wolf, if you prefer." Tap, tap, tap. He stopped in front of me. "Forgive me for questioning whether that's entirely true...my dear?"

"Seth." I swallowed. "My name's Seth."

"It's not true is it Seth? Now, I'm going to give you one chance to tell me the real reason why you're here or I'll have to go to the trouble of finding it out for my self, I trust you know about my ability."

I nodded.

"Now, you really don't want to cause me any trouble Seth. So, let's have the truth."

Gulp. I stopped breathing; I could feel my heartbeat in the back of my head and the red eyes drilling into me. How was I going to explain this? The heat rose in my cheeks as I opened my mouth, only to shut it again.

Aro's eyes sparkled, Alec frowned impatiently, on the bright side, Marcus didn't seem to be paying much attention.

I took a deep breath. You're supposed to imagine your audience in their underwear aren't you? I didn't fancy that very much. Instead I imagined the best cased scenario: while I was telling my story Jane would walk into the room and when I had finished talking she'd run over and fling her arms around my neck, we'd kiss fearlessly, while everyone clapped and whooped, then Caius would suddenly be wearing a vicar costume and…etcetera.

I didn't want to imagine the worst case scenario. No, I said I didn't. Stop thinking Seth. Stop thinking NOW.


	4. Rule 4: Their friends are your friends

How to explain imprinting to the Volturi?

I thought of: 'love at first sight times by 1000' or 'you see someone and suddenly you'd give everything to be their anything'.

I decided they were too soppy.

Then I considered: 'It's like you're a bug hitting the windshield that's someone's life; you might land smack in the middle or way out at the sides where the wipers don't reach, but you can't help going splat....and you don't really want too'.

Yeah. I didn't go with that one either.

I didn't think describing what I felt for Jane as an 'animal instinct' would please Alec very much.

What about: 'There's a force that instantly pulls you to someone. Like a magnet attracting a piece of metal.'?

No. That made me sound like a nerd.

For god's sake Seth. Just say something.

"Errm...Have you ever seen a piece of chocolate cake? Or............ I don't know, smelt someone's blood and felt like, if you could just have it then everything would be good and whole and perfect, you'd be perfect? "

I didn't wait to see if they'd understood, I wasn't sure I wanted them to.

"Well that's how we wolves feel when we imprint on someone. Only, we don't want to eat them, or drink their blood, yuck, gross...no offense."

"None taken" muttered Aro smoothly looking curious.

"When you imprint it's like suddenly you just have to be in that person's life, I mean, you _can_ live without them but...what's the point? So, you turn into whatever they need and, hopefully, eventually, the two of you will fall in love. We're supposed to imprint on girls who'll have the best kids to carry on the wolf pack, but, that's not happened for me because...."

I looked up at the ceiling. Hopeless.

"I may have, perhaps, possibly, definitely imprinted on Jane"

I wondered what they'd think, and worse, what would be said, as, what started as a handful of whispers doubled, then tripled, then swelled to a roar. I wanted to clap my hands over my ears, but I didn't, I just stared upwards (well, what an interesting ceiling? It's a bit dull though. They should paint a mural on it).

"Quiet!" Aro ordered after a rare 30 seconds of speechlessness.

For me, the silence was just as noisy as the roar.

I dared to look around at my audience: Alec looked livid; Felix looked like he found it all rather funny; a woman vampire was staring at me with wide eyes. Her face a mixture of 'what have you done you idiot?' and what I thought was admiration.

Aro put his hand on my shoulder, blinked (well, vampires don't blink but...), and then looked at me for a very long time raising one eyebrow, then the other.

"He's telling the truth" he said eventually. He sounded stumped. I decided this was an achievement.

"Well" Caius got to his feet, I flinched. "Let's get rid of him. Alec would you care to do the honours?"

"Glad to."

"Wait!" called Aro. Caius rolled his eyes, Alec continued to glare.

I recognised the look in Aro's eyes. If he wasn't a vampire he'd have goosebumps, the hairs on his arms would be doing the Mexican wave. He'd just thought of a plan.

"I have a plan." Declared Aro proudly turning around to face the crowd. "How about we set Seth here a -_prova di abilità _-a challenge?"

My insides twisted uncomfortably, the back of my neck itched (never a good sign), he was making me feel like a clockwork toy. I wondered if this was how it had been for Gianna ('I've got a challenge for you Gianna; let's see if you can have a vampire baby').

"Yes a challenge." Aro pressed his lips together for a second, enjoying himself. "We won't tell Jane about your imprinting and you can begin working as our guard dog. You can stay here. You'll have many opportunities to see Jane." Alec growled. "However" Aro continued, looking at Alec and then back at me. "If you haven't kissed her within ...let's say...three days...then we'll, get rid of you."

I stared ahead feeling hot and cold at the same time. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands, desperate to feel something I could control. I wanted to laugh but could feel the tightness in my throat that came before tears.

Alec's expression matched what I felt.

"But, Aro, I don't want him anywhere near her." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Peace, Alec. Jane can take care of herself." Aro managed to sound both careless and threatening.

I decided I didn't like him very much. He was the sort of person whose words might be like bullets but you wouldn't know because his voice was like butter. He seemed to have the entire guard in his pocket, like toy soldiers, under his thumb. He gave Alec the sort of smile a jaguar might give the deer it was hunting, a smile that said; 'do you really want to bother fighting me, we all know who'd win?'

Alec opened and closed his mouth a few times like a gold fish, a very angry goldfish that can't do anything for himself because a certain other goldfish named Aro....yeah, you get the picture.

"She's got to want to kiss you back." He muttered eventually. "And if you hurt her, I'll rip your head off your shoulders before you can blink."

Great, I thought, typical future in-law.

Aro began talking to Demetri, but all I could hear was a blur, like when you fast-forward a DVD. My heart thrummed in my ears and threw its weight around in my chest.

It reminded me of the time I almost drowned off La Push beach when I was 9. The dead iciness of the water pressing against my skin. The pain car-chasing its way through my veins as my energy burned out. The screaming in my head and behind it, the instinct, the voice telling me to focus on the light hitting the top of the water.

Only, drowning was a whole lot simpler than this.

So, I had three days to kiss Jane, or else. It was like a Disney film I'd watched with Quil and Claire: The Little Mermaid. Ha, where's a singing lobster named Sebastian when you need one?


	5. Rule 5: Think before you speak

Walking down the dark wood corridor I remembered two pieces of advice my Dad gave me that have conveniently escaped my remembering until now. The first is; being afraid of something won't stop that thing from happening to you. So, for example, being afraid of vampires won't stop one from ripping you limb from limb. Second; you can succeed in anything if you're not afraid of falling flat on your face.

I'm thinking about my Dad now, wondering what he would have made of all this, whether he would have said the one thing that would've made me stay home (of course I have no idea what that thing might've been.) Probably not, he probably would've grinned something like 'Go after her Seth, you don't want to end up thinking; where are you now? And if she ever gets mad, just, act like she's right....even though she's probably not'.

'All a woman wants' Mom would grumble, wiping some cereal/ gravy/ custard off the kitchen table 'is respect, and to not be treated like a slave. Anyway Seth you're not going.'

It can't have been long but I miss home, I miss the clutter and how the kitchen floor was always being painted because Mom could never decide on the right colour, the sound of Leah practising her guitar, although, she hasn't played it much since the whole Sam thing.

I miss seeing someone whose eyes aren't red. The colour freaks me out (apart from on Jane, it suits Jane). I looked up at the vampire (the wide eyed one I'd noticed before) who'd volunteered to show me the way to Jane's room, I noticed that her eyes were slightly more violet than scarlet. Whatever, they still scared me.

"Hello, I'm Heidi."

I jumped; I hadn't expected her to speak.

"Don't worry" She smiled. "I won't bite."

Her voice was warm and mellow like Aro's, it reminded me of chocolate, a truffle.

Wait. Heidi: she was the one that led people into the belly of the Volturi castle, towards a terrible, horror film style, death. The wolf inside me bared its teeth, my temperature flared dangerously.

I had a sudden urge, I guess it was instinct, to shout 'I know what you do!' go wolf and plunge my claws into her neck. Just because I was in love with Jane didn't mean I couldn't hate this... leech, but...just because I was in love with Jane, I knew I couldn't hurt Heidi.

I imagined a room full of ice cubes, I thought of Jane's smile, I remembered 'never judge a book by its cover' (my Mom told me that one.) I ignored pretty much everything the pack had ever taught me and faked a smile at Heidi. Her wide eyes were puzzled but sincere.

"You do know you're going to die don't you?"

"Oh" I said blankly. Heidi really was a lovely girl wasn't she?

"No one's got a chance of kissing Jane, let alone a wolf, in_ three_ days."

I shrugged, to be fair, it didn't seem possible but I was willing to try, no matter what anyone said. My heart was already in it and I wasn't quitting now.

"It must be nice." Heidi mused her violet eyes flickering to my face and then down to the ground. "It must be nice...to be so in love with someone, that you'd come _here_, stick your head through a noose, just to see them again. It'd be sweet...if you weren't going to die."

I thought, for a second, that, maybe, there was something in her eyes that said she hoped otherwise. Maybe, definitely; I was delusional.

Now that Heidi seemed to have decided she'd wasted enough words on me I began to take in my surroundings. Since the...I'll call it the 'Great Hall' where we'd left Aro and the rest I'd counted 26 steps over 3 staircases (one a spiral), 5 long hallways and countless doorways but it was only now that I began to notice that every door was the same, plain, polished, mahogany, I already knew I was going to get hopelessly lost. There were very few windows but I'd managed to gather that it was getting dark, inside the castle was bleak and shadowy and I was struggling to decipher the colours of the walls and carpet.

Of course, the Volturi either didn't know or didn't care that I usually slept at night. Still, I never wanted to sleep again, not while Jane was awake.

I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed as we turned into yet another corridor. It was like a honeycomb, within the honeycomb that was Volterra.

Random thought: love was quite like honey, it stuck to your fingers, stuck to your life.

Wow, that was quite deep. Maybe I'd become a poet, a young phenomenon, me and Jane would live in a tall, tall house in which every wall was lined with books. I'd keep buying more from car boot sales and second hand shops and Jane would get annoyed but, she'd soon cheer up when I bought her a vineyard with my mega-millions. Italy has lots of vineyards doesn't it?

Suddenly Heidi came to a stop outside a door that- although it looked the same- was clearly so, so different from the others. In a cartoon it would be glowing bright yellow. I stared at it; I wondered how something so stupid (a door) could mean so much to me, it was how I imagined someone would feel holding their baby for the first time; they'd wonder how it was possible that, to the world, this was just one person, because to them it was the whole world, they'd know that this, tiny thing already had enough of them to break their heart, they'd realise they'd just found something that would make today the start of their whole new life. Yeah, I knew it was Jane's door.

Heidi raised her eyebrows at me, then knocked, it sounded like a mixture between church and alarm bells. I swallowed, for a moment, I felt like I should say something; _one small step for a wolf, one giant leap for wolf kind. _Or; _Our Father who art in heaven...._I didn't, because, as the last few seconds of life as I knew it dripped away it was hard to do anything, but breathe.

When Jane opened the door and I saw her close up for the first time the world didn't stop spinning but went right on its courses, like it was meant to be, like I'd known her since my world was one block wide. I remember thinking nothing could ever be _that_ bad anymore because I'd seen her face. And I'd never been anywhere as beautiful. Her full lips, her eyes like the radio, her hands; the sort you'd find on a statue in the middle of a fountain. I wondered if she knew, just how pretty she was, how she had to stay. In that moment I realised I didn't care what walls she might put up or what colours she'd paint them, or how many times she broke my heart I'd be perfectly fine as long as hers remained unbroken, untouchable.

Well, almost untouchable, possibly, maybe... if she wanted something, that's what I'd be. She just had to let me know.

"So..." She said to Heidi. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Meet our new guard dog." Heidi smiled. "You've got to take him on a job, just a couple of newborns in Turin, practically local."

I remembered Aro saying something about a 'job' but was struggling to keep myself from fainting at that point so hadn't really taken it in. I guessed this was his way of being helpful; setting us up on random missions whilst keeping Alec at bay. Great, now I had to kiss Jane, in three days, with Aro as my wingman. Heck, I was doomed.

But I couldn't regret coming here, 'sticking my head through a noose' as Heidi had said. I guess, the moment I saw Jane, it was like I'd jumped out of a aeroplane; I was plummeting down through the air, knowing what was coming, knowing there was no stopping it. Dying for Jane was just so easy to do. You know the quote, _it's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years. _Try, it's not the days in your life; it's the Jane in your days. So, the next three days were going to be the highlight of my existence, because they'd be full of her, they'd be the best days and, you never know, they could be the next three days of my long, happy life.

But that didn't look likely: Jane was looking at me like I was some sort of stubborn fungus. This clearly amused Heidi to no end, she shook with suppressed laughter, pressing her lips together.

"Okay, so you've got all that." She finally managed her voice higher than before, like a little girl. Oh, I thought, had she been talking? I really should start listening to people, it was hard though, I had so much to think about. Jane nodded slowly (god, she looked stunning when she was trying figure out what Heidi found so funny.) "Oh." Heidi continued. "And Aro says, don't do anything immature, and , you're not allowed to kill the guard-dog. ..Oh, and by the way Jane, why didn't you come downstairs? You_ really _missed something."

Grinning, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and left us to it. I counted the 'clicks' and 'clacks' of her high heels as she walked away.

Jane was examining, or rather, glaring at, her fingernails quietly declaring that it was 'not fair'. The sort of thing I might do if I'd been told I had to take out the trash.

Yeah, that probably wasn't a good sign. But, I wasn't writhing on the floor in pain, so.. She preferred me to Edward. Score!

She stamped her foot, annoyed, and set off down the corridor, her eyes blazing an order at me to follow. I fell into step beside her.

Right Seth, I thought, this is a big moment. You can't strikeout on this one. Just say something funny, something cool, something Leonardo Dicaprio would say (he'd had his fair share of forbidden love, shortly followed by death). Okay....here goes nothing.... If I don't come out alive tell Leah I'm sorry I stole the Hershey's chocolate box she got Mom for her birthday....and, tell Jacob, I'm sorry for saying it was him.....May the force be with me...Over and Out....Amen.

"So..." I said, keeping it casual. "Jane, Janie, J, The Janemister, Janelle, Jane-Z, J-Fed, Jane of Arc, Janezilla."

"What the hell, are you doing?!"

Oh god, I hadn't just said all that had I? No, I'd _thought _about saying it, then realised how completely stupid it sounded and kept my mouth shut. Okay, By the look on her face I'd actually said it; she looked like she wasn't sure whether to slap me or scream for help.

"Well," I ran my hands through my hair (again, desperately trying to regain my cool.) I'd act like I was meant to say it, like it was all part of my 'iconic humour'. "What should I call you?"

"Call me Jane." She said slowly, like she was talking to an extremely unstable nutcase, her eyes flickered for a second of confusion; she'd never had to deal with someone like me before.

"You can call me Seth," I said. "Because that...is my name."

What?!?

Right, I thought, I promise I'll quit smoking, if I ever start. I promise I'll buy Leah a replacement box of chocolates. I promise that never again will I laugh about Charlie's moustache behind his back, or moan about having to get up in on a Saturday morning.

I'd promise anything and everything, if I could just say something remotely sane.

"So..." Third time lucky, maybe. "Bella totally creamed you the other day didn't she?"

Oh.....shoot.


	6. Rule 6:There is always hope

I counted the seconds...1...yeah 1, until I felt my back whack/slam/crash into the, incredibly solid, wooden wall. Pain splintered up and down my spine making my eyes water as I stared up at the dust falling from the ceiling. Jane's hand was gripping my neck, her fingers were like rock and they cut into my skin so hard blood trickled down onto my t-shirt. Everything I saw started to wobble at the edges, like it was under a heat haze. My throat felt like it was full of stones and every time I struggled to take a breath more poured in, scratching and rattling and blocking my airway. There was a dull thumping in the back of my head. I scrunched up my toes, trying to focus, trying to stop the numbness from sticking to me. It didn't work; my arms were already ringing with that 'not there' feeling that comes after pins and needles. I was fading out, like a computer shutting down or a radio gradually being turned to mute. Was this how it was going to be? (Ha, that was swiftly becoming my question of the day). Was Jane going to strangle me to death, her snow white, 'never seen the sun' hand against my throat, while I sadly fizzled out, smiling at her the whole time?

I was still falling out of my aeroplane but now I could see every, sharp, cold detail of the rocks below me. I was still hurtling towards them, the wind slapping against my skin until it hurt.

Phasing, shouting, defending myself wasn't an option. It was like Jane was a drug; I knew she was killing me but she had such a strong hold on me I didn't care, I loved the thing that was killing me too much to fight back.

It was a pain but, she wore anger beautifully. She reminded me of a horror film; she scared me, but the last thing I wanted to do was look away. Her face was the colour of china, or chalk, or the moon. It was the sort of face you only see in paintings of angels or on airbrushed magazine covers. Her eyes were wide, like saucers, and burning on my skin but I hadn't felt the blazing agony I was expecting...not yet anyway.

"Don't you dare talk to me about Bella." She growled the words through her teeth, her face was so close to mine... she could have been about to kiss me. "You know, if Aro hadn't insanely decided to like you, you'd be in so much pain right now you'd wish you'd never been born!. Anyway, she -did -not –cream- me. Take it back. Take it back!"

She stamped her foot.

She reminded me of how I used to get when Leah beat me at soccer (a long time ago of course).

The light seemed to change: maybe looks could be deceiving, maybe Jane wasn't as evil as everyone liked to think. What if putting people in pain was just her 'game of soccer'?

Okay, it was wishful thinking, but without wishful thinking where would we be? In the Stone Age, that's where.

I must have been glowing with my new found hope because Jane dug her fingers harder into my neck.

"Alright, I take it back." I choked. "But what are you? 8?"

She almost leapt away from me then. I threw my hand against the wall to stop myself from thudding to the ground. Air was waterfalling into my mouth now, too quick for me to swallow. The room lurched like I was on a rollercoaster, or I was lying at the side of the road after being hit by a car, trying to work out what had just happened to me. But I wasn't dead, the room was tilting dangerously, but I wasn't dead. I wasn't dead, but I was pretty sure it had been a close thing.

I tried to focus on Jane but I was starting to see double...no, triple. I could just about make out that she was looking at her hand.

"Yuk, dog blood." She said wiping it off onto the wooden wall, five lines of darker darkness. She looked at me with what I thought might be respect in her glittering eyes; she was obviously used to people struggling and begging and whimpering. I wondered what she'd do if she knew that I would have done all those things, if I hadn't been in love with her.

I fought to see her properly but my vision was getting worse. My nerves had been seriously shaken up, the air tasted sour in my mouth, I was scared to blink incase I fainted. My heart beat slowly, like a whale's heart, I could hear the drum roll in my head, the blackness was eating up my vision. I felt like I was floating. Any second now I was going to black out, it was sticking to me like mud, my eyes were struggling to stay open. The room was spinning sickeningly, making my eyes water, my stomach lurched as I pitched forward...

"Seth!"

Everything stopped then a jolt exploded through my body. It was like the 'inside out' moment when a car stops suddenly and the safety belt hasn't quite kicked in yet. It was like I'd swallowed lit fireworks. It was like I'd been shot (in a good way). I was completely shocked awake; I'd stepped out of the house into a thunderstorm, or eaten some 'Hot Chilli' flavour crisps, or jumped off a dizzyingly high cliff.

Jane had grabbed my elbow to stop me falling and I was sure there'd be burn marks there. Maybe it was just a reflex, but it made me fall in love with her all over again knowing that there were at least some cells in her body that were willing to reach out for me. Her hand was against my skin (it was hot and cold at the same time, like we'd both been skiing) and she wasn't trying to hurt me; the new hope was the moon shining over me. She'd left a handprint on me that would take longer to fade than any scar- and I'd never, ever be the same.

I blinked at her, I was watching T.V and had finally got the right reception- and high definition- I tried to take in every detail; her eyelashes, the way the light caught her eyes. I wondered what she was thinking.

She saw that I was looking at her and snatched her hand away, hiding it in a fist. She glared at me, clearly angrier with herself.

If it's possible for your heart to multiply in size I think mine did then, until my chest ached. I traced my arm where her fingers had been. On the outside I was looking at the ground, inside I was laughing because she could pull whatever faces she liked, I'd still be down for the chase. I'd still belong to her. And I'd only ever see everything that was beautiful about her: pearls around her neck, the diamonds in her eyes, her hand on my elbow. Thank God for elbows.

I smiled at her.

"Let's start over" My voice sounded different, like a cheesy T.V presenter but at least I'd managed to say something normal. "I'm Seth Clearwater."

"Jane." She said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear; she had nice ears.

"You must have a second name."

She shook her head as we began walking again. I was on cloud nine, in seventh heaven, on top of the world; I was actually having a conversation with her, without emergency alarms and accident bells ringing in my head.

"Ha, I bet it's something really nice like...Lovejoy. Or Delight...Jane Delight."

She shook her head again.

"I had a teacher called Mrs Delight once. She could joke about her name for hours, her favourite was 'turn on De-lights'. Do you get it?"

I was receiving the 'you're insane' look again; slightly raised eyebrows and careful nodding. I could feel my neck going red. I often had this problem; I'd say one thing, and then an extended family of random other thoughts would fly out to join it without being security checked by my brain.

"No" I said quickly. "I didn't get it either."

I put my hands in my pockets and bit my lip, vowing to myself that I wouldn't talk again for at least 5 minutes. Jane must think I was absolutely mental. She must think I was some sort of insane insect, buzzing in her ear.

I tried to fall into step beside her again but she either walked more quickly or slowed down until I had to give up or risk tripping over my own feet. She kept pressing her lips together and swallowing, almost like she was scared.

Great , I thought , squeezing my eyes shut for a long blink, so far I'd made her feel angry and unnerved , I opened my eyes again to stare at the back of her head. This was so unfair. I thought imprinting was meant to work both ways. I was supposed to be her 'soul mate' her 'one in six billion' her 'knight in armour 'her 'Jack Dawson.' I was supposed to be everything she wanted. I almost laughed. I didn't think the usual rules of imprinting applied to me. I was a random mutation, like Leah, maybe it was a Clearwater thing.

I'd lasted about a minute in silence, I gave up.

"This corridor's pretty long isn't it, where does it go?"

"It's not a corridor, it's a tunnel." Somehow her voice reminded me of flour, or chalk, or feathers; something very soft and delicate, someone playing the piano. It sounded composed and practised a voice from a different time. Music to my ears. "Right now, we're underneath Volterra and the tunnel surfaces outside the town walls. When humans owned the Volturi estate a long, long time ago they used it as an escape route in case of attack, although it wasn't called the Volturi estate back then. Anyway, we use it so we don't have to walk around on the streets."

"Wow." I said, deciding that she should become a teacher, or one of those people you phone when your internet doesn't work, or a politician, someone who has to talk about really boring things because when she talked about them, they wouldn't be boring anymore, the air would be alive.

"You have everything here. What's next a petting zoo? Do you have any, you know, Volturi pets? I had a dog when I was little, you seem like more of a cat person to me but......" I saw the red light just in time- I was about to steam ahead into a full scale waffle- and trailed off, hoping to hear more of her voice.

"We only have Gianna." She smiled and I laughed because I hoped she was joking. "But when I was human, I had a cat called Cecilia, she was very pretty but she had really, really big ears."

"Cool." I said, she started walking next to me again, it felt like some over enthusiastic 5 year old kid was having his first drumming lesson on the inside of my chest, my heart was racing like a humming bird , my stomach was tying itself in knots. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was getting dizzy again, I should have put my head between my knees but I didn't think that would look very impressive.

Right Seth, be a man, I told myself, my brain putting on its muscular voice; so you're having a conversation with her, that's absolutely no excuse for fainting or acting like a complete.......goose.

I taught myself to breathe again for the second time that day and started reciting my seven times table in my head (this was something my mum always told me to do if I felt sick on car journeys. It sometimes worked.)

* * *

Jane looked up at me with those dazzling, crimson, rubies , she started talking again and the movement of her lips was so beautiful it was like it must have been choreographed.

"Only, my father was a butcher." She said, her eyes sparkling. "And one day there just wasn't enough meat left for all the pies so......poor Cecilia"

"God that's awful." I felt my heart leap into my throat, full of concern. I shared her pain until my chest ached. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and defend her from all the evil in the world with my bare hands.

She laughed; I can't describe her laugh, words can't describe it. Just imagine the feeling when you wake up and tantalizingly realise its Christmas, or your birthday, or the first day of the summer holidays. That's what hearing Jane's laugh feels like.

"Joking, actually my father was an executioner and he wanted Alec to be an executioner too so he made him practice his axe technique on Cecilia, and Alec was the worst executioner ever, it took seventeen chops of the axe before she was finally put out of her misery."

I laughed, maybe I wasn't falling anymore, more like flying......

"That one was true you know."

.......straight into a tree.

I could hear ambulance sirens in my head, my heart stopped , my sprits plummeted. I'd put my foot in it again, not to mention my legs, arms and –still bleeding- neck. I imagined this was what it felt like to realise you're on a sinking ship...glug...glug...glug.

Suddenly Jane's icy expression cracked into a smile.

"You should've seen your face." She grinned. Her teeth were like pearls, white like milk; perfect.

I couldn't help smiling back at her. It's like when you're humming a tune and you don't realise it for ages. Or you're listening to your i-pod and suddenly you're dancing around your room knocking over shelves.

After too little a time she looked away, shaking her head as though to clear it.

"This way." She motioned for me to follow her.

I smiled more, as if I'd go any other way.

"My dog was called Barney and it was a black Labrador and one day....." I paused for effect. "My sister decided purple would be a much more interesting colour and poured paint all over him."

**AN: So sorry it's been ages and I know this chapter isn't really worth the wait but I found it really hard to write and I've been really busy. Anyway I promise I'll try to update more often from now on. Thank you so much to anyone who has kept reading despite the wait. Please let me know what you think of the chapter, and what you think should happen next. Merry Christmas.**

**Xoxoxo14**


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